Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Audio book review (sort of)

So, I got a *ahem* loner copy of the audio version of Ann Coulter's new book (released about a week ago). Given that it's political satire, and Ann herself narrates it, it basically works as an extended stand-up comedy routine. Overall, I thought it was pretty decent. Despite arguing from an obviously absurd position (Trump is Awesome!), I think she makes a lot of solid points when it comes to explaining the appeal of the man and why he's been as successful as he has—and hey—that's one of the two things that satire is supposed to accomplish, right? Help us see things for what they truly are—regardless of how ugly or uncomfortable that truth is. Oh, and it's also quite funny—in its own dark, wry, twisted, fashion—so that's the other box ticked as well.

Now, here's the crucial bit; would I pay $25USD for it?

… No …

No, no, no, and no. I would pay $10 … hmmm—maybe $15? … No, definitely only $10. First of all, at 6hrs, it felt short. I guess that might have had something to do with the fact that I listened to it at 3x speed, which shortened it down to 2hrs, but having said that, Ann is a bit of a slow talker. No, this definitely felt short. Secondly, is any stand-up routine worth thirty bucks? Maybe I'm just getting miserly in my old age.

Anyway, it's here if you want to check it out.

Trump and Hillary cartoon is still in the works.

Also—in the "too much info" basket—I've had some pretty bad issues with wind over the last few days. At times, it's felt like my insides were being crushed. If you don't hear from me again, I've either had a heart attack or burst like a balloon.

Monday, 29 August 2016

Backed Up?

I was chatting with Squib over email the other day, and it dawned on me that there's one very important topic that I've scandalously neglected on this blog:

Bowel
Hard drive failure

These days, a lot of the things we care about are stored on a computer's hard-drive (HDD). Unfortunately, many of us don't give enough thought to the fact that HDDs are not magical boxes; they're cheaply made machine parts that come off of assembly-lines in China & Thailand. It doesn't matter if it's a traditional spinning HDD, one of these new fangled SSDs, a USB thumb-drive or an SD card—doesn't matter if you paid $10 or a $1000—at some point they all stop working, and often, they stop working totally, permanently, irretrievably, and completely without warning!

For this reason, it is absolutely vital that if you have anything—ANYTHING—on your computer that you don't want to lose, you need to keep it backed-up to at least one other storage device. Remember, two copies is the absolute theoretical minimum you should have—realistically, you should have a minimum of three.

These days, a 1 terabyte external HDD will set you back about $80AU, and you can usually find 4 terabyte drives for under $200AU. Considering you'll need to allow extra space for files you're likely to amass in the future, and the fact that you should be buying two drives (remember, three copies), keeping your files backed-up at home is not an inexpensive endeavour; however, it is the cheapest solution per terabyte—as well as the only practical solution—if you've got dozens of terabytes of video files … *cough* or something. Of course, having multiple copies on multiple mirrored HDDs isn't going to do much to protect your data if your house burns down. For this reason, it's a good idea to keep additional copies of your stuff on additional HDDs at work, or with friends or relatives. Of course, keeping everything up to date then becomes a giant pain in arse. Also, don't forget to encrypt anything that you absolutely don't want anyone else looking at!

An additional—and I would say complimentary—solution, is cloud storage. There are many providers; simple ones like Google, Microsoft and Dropbox offer a free tier, which is handy if you're one of those people who only has a couple of gigs worth of stuff to back up; others, like Carbonite and Backblaze promise automatic & unlimited back-up of everything on your computer and all external HDDs for a flat fee of around $50US/year. There are, however, a few things to keep in mind if you're going to use one of these services:

  • Unless you have a really good connection, uploading terabytes of data is going to take a long—looooong—time.
  • You don't know anything about the people in charge, how they're running the business, or what their finances or long term plans are. Yes, they might have a slick looking website, but companies can and do disappear overnight, especially in the tech sector.
  • If the company gets into legal trouble—for any reason—including the behaviour of any single customer—it is possible that authorities can seize the servers or close the business down, effectively fucking all customers.
  • Companies that hold huge stores of data are prime targets for professional criminals
  • Most companies advertise strong encryption, but in reality, unless you really understand cryptography and have access to the source code of the software, you should still encrypt sensitive data yourself on your own machine before letting it go up into the cloud.

I don't want to discourage anyone from using cloud storage; I think it's a fantastic idea—especially for people who want something simple and automatic, have a really good internet connection, or don't have a prohibitively large amount of data to back up. On the other hand, I do want people making informed decisions, especially if they intend to use the cloud as their one and only means of back-up (ie: no external HDD). If this is the case, I implore you to think very carefully about your decision.

Since I tend to live in a text-terminal and stay away from Windows and Mac as much as possible, I can't—off the top of my head—recommend any good tools for managing back-ups to external HDDs that anybody here would realistically use; however, if anyone is interested, I will look into it and do some reviews/tutorials for some of the free/open apps that are available for Windows. Just let me know below.

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Sunday Papers

Got up this morning and looked at the news section of the ABC website, in hope of seeing how the NT election went. Oh dear, was that ever a mistake. I thought I could be a grown-up and let it go, but nope; I've had all day to stew, and now it's time to get my ranty-pants out of the cupboard. And a warning, I seem to have gained a couple of kilos since the last time I wore them, so skip this post if you want to avoid poorly-reasoned and potentially offensive belligerence.

Blackface

[I had a much more mature and nuanced discussion about this sort of stuff with Melba a while ago; but since today it's just me and my pants, don't expect anything approaching that level of sophistication.]

Is blackface offensive? Yes. Undoubtedly, many people are offended by blackface. Is this "a problem we have to tackle as a society"? Only if your goal is to create a society in which nobody ever gets offended.

Look, when a copper goes to party in blackface, with a noose around his neck, and the name-tag of bloke who suspiciously hung himself in police custody—that is deeply—DEEPLY—problematic (yes, it's been about 25yrs, but everyone still remembers this, right?). But see, if he'd shown up with the noose and the name-tag, without the makeup, it wouldn't have been any less problematic; and if the dead fella he was imitating had been white, it still would have been an issue. The problem here isn't the fuckin' face-paint.

I don't have the patience to participate in a society where every time someone puts on some nugget, or some lippy, or a some padding, we have to have a national conversation about racism, sexism, and fat-shaming. What matters is what those people do once they're in costume. And a young kid who paints himself brown because he wants to be the same colour as his hero, is not fuckin' harming anybody.

And another thing—if you paint yourself the same colour as A SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL, because you want to look like THAT SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL—how the fuck is that reinforcing racial stereotypes!?

Women-Only Taxi-Services

Are they sexist and discriminatory? Yes, absolutely. You're talking about businesses that only accept female workers and clients. That's textbook sexual discrimination. Does that mean you're a horrible person if you support them. No, I don't think so. Having separate men's and women's sports teams and changing rooms is also textbook sexual discrimination—in the form of segregation—and I support that. Maybe I'm a horrible person. Or maybe discrimination isn't always so bad. Maybe the world isn't black & white, and we should stop getting hung up on labels and start using some fuckin' common sense when it comes to these things. Revolutionary idea, eh?

Nude Selfies

[This one got me especially riled, because I see more and more stuff like this nowadays; and while I feel it comes from a place of good intentions … well, you know what they say about the road to hell.]

'Don't take nude selfies' and other ways men treat women with contempt

Advising female school students not to take nude photos misses the point. When society shames young women for being sexual, we can't be surprised when young men treat them with contempt.

By Alex McKinnon
Updated Sat Aug 27 11:05:24 EST 2016

No Alex, despite your awesome first name, I suspect it might be you who misses the point.

It is almost a cliche how quickly women are shamed, even when they are the victims of criminal behaviour as appears to be the case following reports of the exposure of a major child pornography ring in Australia.

The news that teenage boys and men had been secretly stealing and exchanging sexual photos of school-age girls and women triggered widespread horror and condemnation and prompted investigations by police.

If you look at the original version on the ABC website, she links to this article as reference. Now, maybe there are more details of this case out there, but if all you're going on is the linked article, it clearly states:

QPS said the site contained images and information that had been obtained from social media sites and from across the internet.

and

does not appear to contain any child exploitation material

In other words, this sounds like a bunch of boys aggregating images that girls have taken of themselves and shared—sometimes privately—sometimes publicly—and then posting lewd, and demeaning comments next to them.

I tend to define pornography as anything that's created to serve as masturbation-fodder, and since some of these images involved underage girls, yes, I guess this is technically child porn; however, I think that describing it as "a major child pornography ring" is misleading and sensationalist, especially if the police are correct in stating the site didn't contain any child exploitation material. Are we going to embrace the American model, where a fifteen-year-old who takes photos of themselves can be found guilty of producing child porn and placed on the sex-offender register for the rest of their lives? Well, no fuckin' thank you mate; as far as I'm concerned, the Yanks can have that bullshit all to themselves.

Oh, and notice that she mentions "secretly stealing photos"? She does this a couple of times throughout the article when talking about people downloading and re-posting pictures that other people post publicly through social media. Why? I can only imagine that it's an attempt to fool non-sophisticated readers into thinking there's some sort of nefarious hacking going on.

But some of the backlash has been directed at girls themselves for taking and sharing naked photos in the first place.

Melbourne's Kambrya College was criticised for telling its female students to "protect their integrity" by lengthening their skirts to cover their legs.

Queensland Police came under fire for releasing a statement in which they warned of "the consequences of posting too much personal information online" without mentioning the behaviour of the perpetrators.

And an opinion piece by Mamamia founder Mia Freedman included a checklist of how girls should behave online, with instructions like "NEVER take a nude or partially nude photo of yourself".

Okay, first of all, can we please start writing Mamamia differently? Like MamaMia, or something? I swear, every fuckin' time I see it written as Mamamia, my brain pronounces it Ma-mamia.

Secondly, this is the crux of what I find upsetting. Giving girls practical advice is not "backlash". Look, I'm an independent adult woman living in a first-world country—I shouldn't have to put masking tape over all the camera lenses in my house, but I do, because I know for a fact that there are blokes out there who get their jollies hacking into internet connected cameras; I should be able to hang out at my local park, alone, at 2AM on a Friday night, but I don't, because I know there are opportunistic thieves and rapists out there; and I shouldn't have to lock my front door, but I do, because I know that once in a blue moon some drunk fuckwit is going to come pounding on it, demanding I let him in. I'd love to live in that perfect world where none of this stuff was an issue, I really would … but I don't—I live in the real world. It's a nasty place, full of nasty cunts who do nasty fuckin' things to each other—and you know what? All the young people I care about also have to live in that world—and if you think I shouldn't warn them about the nasty shit, or give them realistic advice on how to protect themselves from it, because—I dunno—it constitutes some sort of victim-blaming or something, then as far as I'm concerned you are deeply—DANGEROUSLY—fuckin' naive.

Besides the uselessness of "advice" like that in an age where sending nude pictures is a common and unremarkable part of young people's sexual relationships (and abstinence-only messages fail to stop teenagers from doing what they want to do), that familiar kneejerk instinct to shame girls and women has a darker side.

Both the high school pornography ring and the gendered response to it stem from the same perverse source: our hostility toward young women who act in ways society deems to be unacceptably sexual. The boys stealing photos of their female classmates learned such contempt for women from somewhere.

When we constantly shame young women for being sexual, we cannot be surprised when young men absorb it, and act it out.

At this point, the article basically becomes self-parody. Girls taking pictures of themselves and sharing them is an empowering expression* of their sexuality that we should embrace—nay, celebrate—rather than foolishly thinking we can stem through disapproving finger-wagging; but boys passing those pictures around and wanking off to them is unacceptable, and that—THAT—is what we can fix through disapproving finger wagging. For fuck's sake, has she ever met a teenage boy? Did she not go out with, or even hang around any when she was young?

* Hang on, I thought those images constituted child pornography!

Also, look, the fellas I knew who hacked into webcams didn't have a "special contempt" for women. They had contempt for everyone. It wasn't like whenever they happened onto a bloke's webcam they immediately abandoned it out of respect or a sense of brotherhood. To the contrary, they were happy to spy on other blokes if they were doing something stupid or funny. The reason they preferred watching women—I believe—is that they were hetero, and that's what they liked wanking off to.

Actually, the whole notion of this being completely one-sided seems kinda bullshit. Generally speaking, women don't amass giant caches of visual imagery for them and their friends to frig off to—that's true; but do you reckon girls are above being fuckin' cruel and spreading nasty shit around (I know I wasn't)? Do you reckon boys don't do nasty shit to other boys? Do you reckon they don't get teased and laughed at when it comes to their nudey pics? Hey, remember The Fappening, when all those nude pics of all those celebrities got leaked onto the internet? Did that ruin the careers of any of those women? I don't keep up on the gossip, so I wouldn't know. I remember a lot of people condemning it, even going so far as to say that looking at the pictures was a form of sexual assault. On the other hand, I can also remember when Anthony Weiner's cyber-mistress went public with photos of his nob—and how talk show hosts around the world showed the pixellated pickies and laughed and laughed and danced around to "Carlos Danger" theme music, and made him the butt of every joke for months, so that eventually he had to resign. Hmmm, funny that.

I'm not going to reprint the whole article, but I will share a few nuggets:

Take selfie culture, a phenomenon widely derided as shallow, self-obsessed, vain and stupid because it is associated in the public mind with young women supposedly "desperate" for male sexual attention.

Bullshit. I don't deride "selfie culture" as shallow, self-obsessed, vain and stupid because it's associated with young women (in fact, it's fuckin' news to me that it is), I deride it as shallow, self-obsessed, vain and stupid because it's literally a fuckin' culture of taking photos of yourself.

"Whenever we talk about people taking selfies, we're unconsciously bringing to mind an image of a young, self-obsessed woman," said Professor Amy Dobson of the University of Queensland.

No.

"The reaction to men engaging in it is completely different. People look with affection and admiration at old men taking selfies, for example."

What the fuck!? Which old men are being praised for this? Why? By whom? Is this a reference to something specific?

Jacinta* is a 24-year-old from Victoria whose public selfies were stolen by male strangers and posted on online forum 4Chan. There, she was labelled a "slut" and an "attention seeker" with low self-esteem.

Again with the "stealing" of public images. Also, why not mention that 4Chan (and more accurately /b) is a "shock" humour site, where people try to "outdo" each other by posting the nastiest fuckin' things imaginable—about anything or anyone. Frankly, if she became a topic of discussion on there, I can't imagine that slut and attention seeker were the worst things people said. You can find people saying much worse on Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter, which is also far more relevant, considering they're not supposed to be sites that are specifically dedicated to offending people.

The preconception that women are the only ones taking naked photos of themselves is also misguided — we just pay more attention when girls do it.

Yes, some of us apparently write giant articles about it for the ABC. Are you seriously making this complaint, other Alex?

According to Associate Professor Kath Albury, who co-authored the UNSW study, "boys take as many sexy and naked selfies as girls do".

"[But] a young man's naked photo is allowed to have a range of possible meanings," she said, from being sexual to being a joke or a sign of confidence. Girls' photos are not.

Oh sorry, I guess I was wrong about boys being mocked for their nudey pics. Must have dreamed that whole Weiner thing. I'll stop giving the boys in my family the same warnings I give the girls, since obviously none of this applies to them.

Professor Dobson argues that whether an image is deemed appropriate or not has less to do with its actual content than whether the woman in the picture is perceived to be displaying sexual agency for reasons other than male gratification.

"I find it ironic that we fetishise images of women in our everyday media lives on billboards and elsewhere, but when young women actually take the images themselves, we put them down for it," she says.

[Photo Caption] Women are shamed for displaying sexual agency separate from male desire, Professor Albury says.

Wait, is it Albury or Dobson who's saying this?

Also, the fuck? So, if I'm a typical teenage girl, and I take a regular picture of myself, my peers are going to slag me off for it; but if I take a picture of myself with—say—my boyfriend's dick in my mouth, then nobody'll give me shit, because I'll be showing "sexual agency for reasons of male gratification", and everyone finds that acceptable.

In actual fact, I'll bet my left tit that if you let people "comment" on billboards the same way they comment online, you'd see pretty much the same repugnant shite in pretty much the same quantities.

Personally, I feel this would be a more accurate summation: If you post anything online, somebody is going to try to make you feel bad about it. Doubly so if you're a woman. Triply so if it involves anything sexual. Sadly, the world is full of arseholes, and so far, nobody has discovered cure.

The End

Oh, and the NT voters gave the Torries a fuckin' hiding—so I guess it's not all fuckin' bad news, eh?

Thursday, 25 August 2016

Lost in the Mist(y)s of time.

In going back over my 2000AD collection—as preparation for the arrival of issue #2000—one of the things I've started getting interested in is the history of British girls' comics. See, a lot of the best writers & artists for 2000AD started on girls' comics, and there was a time when girls' comics were considered the cream of the crop. Now they don't even exist—you can't even find scanned copies being traded on torrent sites. Coincidentally though, (or maybe not) it seems there's a bit of a push amongst the old guard to have another look at girls' comics, possibly (and this is just speculation) with a view to starting some sort of revival. In point of fact, this week we have the legendary Pat Mills (who's always good value for money) appearing on the 2000AD podcast, filling us in on a bit of history in preparation for the reprint of two classic stories.

Oh, what could have been.

EDIT: Is it just me, or does anybody else love that old "paperback-romance" style of art-work? Fuckin' love it. A pity it seems to have gone extinct

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

A Question For The Dr Who Crowd

I don't follow the show religiously, so I'm not an expert on how it all works, but I do know that Squib at least should be able to answer this question:

Is there any reason why The Doc couldn't, wouldn't, or shouldn't regenerate as a sheila?

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Don't worry, I'll learn.

Somewhere, not too long ago …

… a tickle-wrestling match reaches its inevitable conclusion …

Whadda y'wanna do now, ratbag?
Les do a makeover.
A makeover? Wha'does that entail?
Thas when we do each ovva's hair an' makeup, so we look rool boodiful.
You already look beautiful. Don'cha?
Yeah, but a makeover makes you look rooly extra boodiful.
Yeah? Well, I don't have any makeup, matey.
(… not that you need to know about, anyway.)
I know. Thas why I bought my own.
What? Whadda'ya got there, buggalugs?
Thas my makeup bag
Pffft, bloody makeup bag. Whadda'ya doin' with a makeup bag at your age? 'ay? Whadda'ya got in it?
Lippy, an' eye stuff, an' eyelash stuff, an' stuff for covering up fweckles, an' …
Where'd ya get all this rubbish from?
Auny Lilly gave me mos' of it …
Mmm-hmm …
An'nis was fwom Auny Daisy. An mummy gave me dis one.
Right … okay … makeover it is then, I guess …
Well, whadda'ya reckon, wombat?
It's okay. You're not as good a'dis as Auny Lilly though.
That's not much of a surprise, is it?
No'weely. you're no' vewy good a' being a girl, are you Auny Awex?
Is that right?
Yesh.
Ah … right … well, maybe you can teach me how to be more girly, 'ay?
… … Yep. I fink I can do dat for you, Auny.
Alright, so, what're we gonna do now then, Ms Terra?
Les go to da park an' kick da foody awound.
… Okay. Should we clean all this gunk off our faces first?
… … … No-oo! … Dis is whad makes foody more girly.
… Ah … right … of course. Silly me.
Don' wowry Auny, you'll learn.

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Dear Subway

Is it just me, or does the phrase "pulled pork sandwich" sound like some sort of filthy euphemism.

Yeah Tanya, reckon I mighta had a few too many last night, 'ay. After the pub closed, y'know, I went 'round the backa Mobil with Dazza, y'know … 'cause that seemed like a good idea at the time. So anyway, I'm standin' there … y'know, pullin' some pork as it were … and then bloody Mick comes 'round the corner, an' … well … y'know, normally I woulda told him to piss-off, but … I dunno … one thing led to another, an' the next thing I know I'm havin' a pulled pork sandwich.

And no, this is definitely not a conversation I had with a cousin when I was in my twenties. So don't even ask, okay.

Got up this morning, and watched the women's water polo, only to see Australia get knocked out in another penalty shoot-out. Bloody hell. We got done by the Kiwis in the hockey too. Looks like we'll have to make do with the Rugby until Tokyo.

Monday, 15 August 2016

Dear Channel 7

One of the few good things about the Olympics is that it gives people a chance to see elite competition in a bunch of weird sports that they would otherwise never see. For instance, if it wasn't for the Olympics, I never would have discovered synchronised swimming, much less fallen in love with it.

On a related note, could you please show a bit less golf, tennis, and basketball, and a bit more of everything else. Please.

Cheers

Alex

House Wallaby

One thing I've noticed about the Olympics is that I haven't seen too many Aussie flags. By which I mean, proper Aussie flags—you know, white stars on a blue background with a Union Jack. By and large it's all been green & gold boxing kangaroos.

Personally, I like it. I've never been a fan of our flag, and at this point, I would whole-heartedly support pissing it off in favour of the pugilistic marsupial.

… however …

Before we put it to a vote, I'd like to submit a few alterations which I think help to fully capture the spirit and character of our great nation.

Please feel free to re-use and re-share this image however you see fit. Post it to your FaceBook, set it as your Twitter avatar, print it out and stick it to the back of your car. C'mon Australia, let people know that you support the change. The Kiwis poonced out when it came to their flag; let's show the world that we're better than an island full of sheep-rooting pansies!

Saturday, 13 August 2016

schadenfreude

I just watched the highlights of Sweden beating America in women's soccer. Putting aside the bullshit that is penalty shootouts; what does it say about me that I feel a perverse sense of smug satisfaction whenever I see England or USA lose in international competition?

It's actually a bit fuckin' weird when I stop to think about it. I mean, it's not like these countries have ever done anything to me personally. And I'm sure the people who live in them can't be any bigger arseholes than the people who live in any other place.

And yet … there it is.

Anybody else got any similar geographical biases?

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Techno Hubris

It's past midnight on census night, and the website is still down.

If you're reading this from a time or place where it's not clear what's going on, this year the Bureau of Statistics wanted everybody to complete their census online. They assured everyone that their system was so robust that when they tested it at 150% of the theoretical maximum load, it didn't even flinch. Of course, despite the fact that many people are boycotting the online version by requesting a paper form, or simply refusing to do it at all, when it came time to perform in the real world, the system folded like a fuckin' paper towel.

This was to be expected.

We're living in a world where everybody uses technology all the time, but for the most part, nobody has a fuckin' clue how any of it actually works. This means that if you're in the business of selling technological solutions, there's a lot of potential marks out there who don't know enough to be skeptical of a slick sales pitch.

By the way, the ABS have also assured us that our information will be safe and secure.

Yeah.

Right.

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

4(1Nation) ≟ Oz

Yep, that's right; Pauline Hanson has won 4 senate seats, giving her control of the biggest cross-bencher voting block outside of the Greens. Does this mean the country is rooted?

Since the AEC officially announced the final numbers last week, I thought I should put up an up-to-date table. I've also gone to the trouble of linking to all of the home-pages and social media accounts of all the non-Green cross-benchers, just in case anyone's curious about what any of them have to say for themselves.

TORY LABOR GREEN OTHER
ACT 2 2
1 1 2
NT 2 2
1 1 2
NSW 23 24 47
5 4 1 2 12
QLD 21 8 1 30
5 4 1 2 12
SA 4 6 1 11
4 3 1 4 12
TAS 4 1 5
4 5 2 1 12
VIC 17 18 1 1 37
5 4 2 1 12
WA 11 5 16
5 4 2 1 12
AUS 150
76

Breakdown of "OTHER"

HOUSE
Bob Katter HFTY Katter's Australia Party HFT Kennedy, QLD
Rebekha Sharkie FT Nick Xenophon Team HFT Mayo, SA
Andrew Wilkie HFT Independent Denison, TAS
Cathy McGowan HFT Independent Indi, VIC
SENATE
Pauline Hanson FTY One Nation HFTY QLD
Malcolm Roberts FT One Nation HFTY QLD
Brian Burston FT One Nation HFTY NSW
Rod Culleton FT One Nation HFTY WA
Nick Xenophon HFT Nick Xenophon Team HFT SA
Stirling Griff T Nick Xenophon Team HFT SA
Skye Kakoschke-Moore F Nick Xenophon Team HFT SA
David Leyonhjelm HFT Liberal Democrats HFTY NSW
Bob Day HFT Family First HFTY SA
Jacqui Lambie HFT Jacqui Lambie Network H TAS
Derryn Hinch HFTY Justice Party HFT VIC

Saturday, 6 August 2016

Stranger Things

I've just finished watching it, and—wow—what can I say. It's a hard show to praise. I don't mean that it's not worthy of praise; I mean, it's difficult to describe it accurately while still doing it justice. It wasn't really a work of art; the plot was simple and straightforward, there were no real twists or turns, there was no real mystery—I mean, there weren't any expositional dumps, so it took a while to fully comprehend some stuff—but for the most part, everything was presented at face value; the characters were uncomplicated and there were no "stand out" performances from the cast; there weren't any sequences or lines of dialogue or plot elements that you could say were exceptional; there was no tricky camera work or artsy-fartsy shit, and the music was minimalist and unobtrusive. No, this wasn't a work of art; this was a workshop in master craftsmanship. Everything was exactly what it needed to be in order to best tell the story and nothing more. I dunno how I'm doing at explaining myself, but consider this: I can't point to one single aspect of the show that I loved, and yet, I've been glued to the telly for pretty much the last eight hours straight, unable to look away. My emotional involvement so high that at least half a dozen times there were scenes—maybe as simple as two characters sitting quietly in a room, and one turning to the other and saying something as innocuous as "I believe you"—and suddenly I found myself with tears running down my face. I don't think I can explain it any better than that.

Warning: This next bit ISN'T going to contain any plot spoilers, but I'll black it out anyway, just in case you'd rather not know anything at all. Click on the blacked-out text if you want to read it.

The story takes place in a sleepy town in rural America, and revolves around a cop (single) and two families that each have one young child and one teenage child. There are three (semi)distinct layers, with each layer having a mundane aspect and a "weird" aspect.

Layer 1, Mundane: Young boys with their heads half in the real world and half in the fantasy world of comic books and role-playing-games. There's a big, serious adventure to be had here, complete with school-bullies, bike-chases, friendships being tested, and they might even discover a little bit of romance along the way.
Layer 1, Weird: One of the group disappears and then a mysterious, nearly mute girl shows up out of nowhere. Can she help them find their friend, and what other secrets is she hiding?

Layer 2, Mundane: Teenagers, parties, peer-pressure, sex, virginity, lies, and social stigma.
Layer 2, Weird: Some sort of malevolent force/monster (which may or may not exist in the physical world) is abducting people. Can our heroes find a way to stop it before it gets them?

Layer 3, Mundane: Parents trying to protect their kids while grieving for the ones they've lost.
Layer 3, Weird: A clandestine government agency appears to be hunting both the monster and the little mute girl; and it seems they'll stop at nothing to get what they want—even murder.

To start with, the mundane and the weird are mostly separate. Over the course of the series, the two gradually come together, and then the three layers flatten out into a single story. It's quite expertly done, considering there's some wildly different tonal elements at play.

If you're the sort of person who absolutely hates the idea of a supernatural thriller with overtones of government conspiracy, then MAYBE you should give this a miss, but for everyone else—WATCH IT!

WARNING: The following are points of discussion for people who have watched the show. DON'T click on this box until after you've seen it.

Personally, I think the story should end where it ended. Would you like to see it continued with a second season?

The biggest criticism I've heard of the show is that Winona Ryder over-plays her part. I thought she was just right. What did you think?

Did anyone else think they should have made more of an effort to keep the monster "hidden"; like, in shadows or something. I kinda reckon it looked a bit wanky at the end.

Did Eleven remind anyone else of young Natalie Portman from Leon: The Professional?

On a final note, one little touch that I appreciated was that the kids all look kinda dorky—like they haven't grown into their faces yet. Even the teenagers look interesting, not like generic Hollywood models. I especially like this girl's face.

Thursday, 4 August 2016

For those still watching telly

All of my podcasts are currently raving about two Netflix shows. The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (spelling?) and Stranger Things.

Really not interested in the first one, since I think it's a sitcom. The second one sounds more intriguing. I'm hearing it described as resembling something that was written by Stephen King, directed by Stephen Spielberg, with a score by John Carpenter. It's supposedly set in the '80s and perfectly captures the atmosphere of creepy chiller-thriller horror flicks from that error. I'm almost tempted to give it a go.

If anyone tries either of them, can they let me know how it goes?

Cheers.