Happy New Year

Well, 2016 is here already. Time to take stock and make hollow promises for the year ahead, I suppose.

This blog is now two years old. In some ways, I'm glad I started it around New Year's. It makes it an easy date to keep track of. I've just been for a wander through the archives, and while I've posted a lot of rubbish, there's also been enough quality discussion to make the whole exercise worthwhile. I have my three readers to thank for that. Cheers, ladies.

2015 was the year that I stopped being a chickenshit and started drawing again—but only with my left hand—so I suppose I didn't completely get over my chickenshittedness. Actually, truth be told, I'm not too disappointed with how things have turned out in that regard. Now I'm kind of curious to see if I can work my way up to being fully ambidextrous. I would like to see the work-rate go up though. My initial goal was one piece a week, which is not ambitious at all, yet I've still managed to fall way shy of the mark. I'm probably going to have to manage my time better and also be prepared to post a lot of "quick & dirty" sketches if I ever want to get there.

I'm also thinking I'd like to give this place a bit of a face-lift. I've got ideas for designing my own blog template from scratch. I'm also thinking this blog really could use a better title. Something a bit shorter and easier to remember, maybe. Ultimately, it'd be good to get off Blogger altogether; as of yet though, no preferable solutions have appeared on the horizon.

As for personal New Year's resolutions, I got nothin'. I live my life by to-do lists, so I mean, I've got stuff I plan to get done in 2016, but it's nothing revolutionary or life-changing. Have a look at the Perl 6 programming language, work on one-handed handstands, eat more fish; that kind of crap.

Wha'bout yous girls? Any plans for 2016?

Nothing lasts forever …

I was surprised by how emotional I got when I heard that Lemmy Kilmister died today.

Motörhead was a band I had a bit of an interest in when I first got into metal, and I still enjoy some of their songs today; but I haven't taken any real notice of them in years and I certainly wouldn't call myself a fan. … However, for the last 40 years there's been a Motörhead fronted by Lemmy Kilmister … and now there isn't.

… and for some reason that makes me sad.

According to the report I heard, he died 2 days after being diagnosed with an "incredibly aggressive" form of cancer. Obviously, I've never died of cancer, but I can't help but think that sounds preferable to having one of those slow-acting ones that kills you by inches.

The video is supposed to be from 2004. He looks good for a 60 year old alcoholic amphetamine user.

❣Best Wishes❣

For various reasons, the family got together and had an early Chrissy this year, so I'm home alone for Christmas day proper. Not that it bothers me; I'm not sentimental about any of this crap. What difference does it make if everyone gets together on the 20^th or the 25^th? The calendar dates are all arbitrary anyway.

Anyway, our Chrissy was nice, if largely unremarkable. We went swimming and played footy and watched cricket in the evening; we opened presents; we prepared—and then ate—a stupid amount of food (except the men folk, who didn't have to prepare anything, for some reason—or clean up, for that matter). The kids were adorable when they weren't being shits. Terra was adorable even when she was being a shit.

Over the last couple of days, I've been working on my backlog of blog post, as well as doing a few other things. Bed time is now much nicer than it was … but more on that next time around.

Today, I went for a walk, and I don't think I've ever seen the place so still. Not a soul outside, not a car in the street. It was almost like something from a post-apocalyptic film. Not a trace of life to be found anywhere. I couldn't even spot any crows. In the park, I came across my old mate—the currawong—dancing across the grass, pouncing on grubs and insects, oblivious to the calm. I laid down under a tree to watch him, and he sang me a song. It was so lovely I can't even describe it.

I hope you enjoyed Chrissy as much as I did.

Love from Alex. ✘✘✘

The New Star Wars Movie

At this point I haven't seen it, and I probably won't. I liked the original trilogy well enough, but I doubt I woulda paid twenty quid to see any of them at the picture theatre—and that's the going rate these days.

So this is basically just a thread for anyone who's seen the film to express what they thought of it. If reviews are glowing enough, I might reconsider.

If you haven't seen it, feel free to talk about the old movies or the stupid prequels or the franchise in general and the weird cultish following it has. Whatever—knock yourself out.

The Spirit of the Season

Does anyone remember that nearly a month ago I posted about how I had to come up with a submission to the family Chrissy card that my mum would accept?

Well, it finally happened.

It turns out that when I try to be fun and entertaining, what comes out is obnoxious drivel. If I really want to make people laugh, I have to write from a place of misery and frustration.

Can somebody please remind me of this fact when next Xmas rolls around. I feel like I probably will have forgotten by then.

Ta.

Because I know it's something you all care deeply about …

The first ever WBBL has started. And no, it's not a wrestling promotion for hefty ladies.

It's actually T20 cricket for ladies … who generally aren't very hefty at all. I'm not historically a cricket fan, but I did quite get into the men's T20 tournament last year. It's generally a much faster and more interesting game than regular cricket, and the organisers go out of their way to foster a light-hearted "party" atmosphere. Anyway, the point is, I'm happy to see a women's tournament getting off the ground, and I hope people can get behind it … because from what I've seen, it's going to need all the support it can get …

First of all, of the fifty something games that are being played, only a piddling eight are being televised. "Well Alex", you might say, "television stations have to think like a business, and airing fifty something games sounds like an awfully big risk". Well yeah, I could see that being a valid argument if it wasn't for the massive amounts of shite they're running instead. Are you honestly telling me that advertisers would rather pay to peddle their wares during reruns of Murder She Wrote? Fucking what?

Okay, so let's accept that for whatever reason matches can't be broadcast on telly … why not stream them to the internet? "But Alex, streaming and hosting videos costs money too." Yes, but you don't have to do it yourself. There's at least half a dozen sites out there that are set up to handle this kind of thing—Youtube being the first that comes to mind. And since Cricket Australia, BBL, & every fucking team in the competition already have official Youtube accounts, why not use the fuckin' things? To give the knife a little extra twist, you can watch video highlights of the games. Yep, that's right folks; that means they're sending a fucking film crew out to film every fucking game, and then not letting any cunt watch them. Okay, so maybe they're desperate to get people to come and watch the games in person; couldn't they at least put the videos up a day or two later? For fuck sake, is not showing someone something really the best way to get them interested?

"So what sort of coverage do they have?" Well, basically, you can go to cricket.com.au and watch every game unfold on a live scoreboard while a Twitter feed scrolls up the right hand side. Fuckin' riveting, I know. You think they could at least have a couple of the girls do a live audio commentary while they're waiting to have a go at bat, or something. Ya know, even fuckin' Twitter has it's own live video streaming service now … just saying.

On a side note, as you watch the tweets fly by, profile pictures of grumpy looking players with their arms folded flash up to let you know who's currently batting and bowling.

Maybe they're all just pissed off about how poorly cropped their heads are. Didn't anybody who worked on this know how to feather a selection in Photoshop? Seriously though, whose bright idea was it to have every player pose like that? In this age of social media addiction, I have to imagine that most of these women know how to take a decent selfie; why not let them have fun with it? Part of me thinks that one girl must have got stuck with the generic silhouette because she refused to look at the cameraman like he was a "naughty little boy".

In any case, despite all my carping, there is an up side to all this. If you do want to go and watch a game in person, there's not much excuse not to. Most games are being played on the weekends, admittance to all non-televised matches is free, and in many cases, games are being played back-to-back, so if you can't make the morning session, just go in the afternoon. The only trouble you might have is finding a single comprehensive source of info on which games are being played where, and which ones are going to be on telly. That brings us to the point of this post …

I've just spent my afternoon cobbling together a web page that should make keeping track of the details a little bit easier. Currently, you can set it to display televised matches, Melbourne matches, all matches, etc; it has a timer which counts down to the next match in your selected category; matches that are in play will flash; and when a match begins, it should pump out about 70secs of the BBL theme music, just so you don't miss the start (probably only useful if you're waiting for a television broadcast to start, but it works with all categories).

I've only just thrown it together, and the testing process has been somewhat less than thorough, but so far, so good. If you want to check it out, feel free to let me know how it works for you. Match times should all be displayed in your local time, provided the clock in your browser is working right. A link to the page is here, and I'll also add a link to the right-hand column of the blog.

EDIT: And of course, almost instantly, the link to the audio file for the alarm is broken. Fuck it, I'll fix it later. I'm going to bed.

EDIT: And fixed. For now, at least. I should also mention that an asterisk next to a team name denotes that they are playing that game at home.

Trigger Warning

⚠WARNING⚠

The use of trigger warnings may trigger a traumatic response in those who have been traumatised by the over use of trigger warnings. In certain situations, this may cause victims of trigger warning trauma to inflict trauma on the user of said trigger warning.

A couple of weeks ago this article appeared in the Washington Post. It's about how the price of sex in Greece has fallen from ~€50 to ~€2. The presumption being that austerity fuelled poverty has pushed so many women into prostitution in the last few years; competition has become so fierce that many young women are now willing to sleep with someone for the price of a sandwich. I have no idea how accurate the article or the study it cites are. But that's not really what this post is about anyway …

Much to my surprise—in the time since it was published—I've heard people young, politically-engaged, left-leaning women talking about the positive aspects of this story. That it's empowering for women to be able to "own" their sexuality in this way; and that for so many of them to see sex work as a viable option shows how far western attitudes have progressed. Oh, and that basically anyone who speaks out against this must be an old-fashioned, closed-minded, conservative, slut-shaming arsehole who wants to control what women can and can't do with their bodies.

I guess this is kind of a continuation of the post I did about people who want to abolish segregated toilets and changing rooms. Am I really becoming an old-fashioned, closed-minded, conservative arsehole in my old age—or is this line of thinking as fucked in the head as I think it is?

DailyMotion Test … aka: Country Continued

This is a Swedish country duo called First Aid Kit, which I've just come across while looking through Squib's recommendations.

Squib, I'd like to know which, if any, of these videos work for you.

A visual guide to Windows versions

This post is basically just a bunch of screenshots designed to help people identify which version of Windows they're running. Please note that wallpapers, colours and themes can be changed in most versions of Windows, so don't get too focused on the details.

Windows XP

You should already know if you're running XP. At this point, it's probably the most recognisable operating system interface of all time. If this is you, you should upgrade quick smart. Microsoft have officially abandoned XP and it's now full of unpatched security holes.

Windows Vista

You should also already know if you're running Vista—as it's about the most miserable experience you can have on a computer. Vista is probably the biggest turd Microsoft have flung at the public since 'ME'. As with XP, you should upgrade from this version of Windows as quickly as possibly—firstly because Microsoft will be abandoning it in 18 months, but also just for the sake of your own sanity.

Windows 7

7 is basically what Vista should have been. As such, it can be difficult to tell the two apart at first glance. One feature 7 has that Vista lacks (I think) is a little rectangular button/area at the far end of the taskbar which can be pressed to hide and unhide all open windows. If your taskbar has such a thing, congratulations, you're running Windows 7. It's probably the oldest version of Windows you should realistically be using at this point.

Windows 8/8.1

Windows 8 is distinctive in that it doesn't have a start menu. Instead, when you click the little window icon in the bottom left-hand corner, it takes you to a screen full of "live tiles".

8 was almost universally panned for trying to bolt a smartphone interface onto a desktop operating system. Having said that, I do know people who like this approach a lot. Each to their own, I guess.

Windows 10

10 feels like a bit of a hodgepodge. Clicking on the window icon now brings up something that mixes the menu from 7 with the live tiles from 8—sort of. There's also a secondary menu called "action centre" that pops out of a little word balloon over on the right-hand side.

Maybe the most distinctive feature of 10 is that it supports virtual desktops, which can be accessed by clicking the icon that looks like two overlapping rectangles.

And that's it. I hope it helped you work out what's running on your machine. If not, you can try going into "Control Panel" and then "System Information" or "About This Computer" or whatever it's called on your version. … Oh, and no, I didn't skip over Windows 9—Microsoft did.

Where The Fuck Did December Come From All Of A Sudden?

Yes, it's that time of year again.

Because it's so wonderful, I'm re-posting a comment that Squib left a year ago. It contains a bunch of gift ideas for spoiled little shits who don't need any more toys. It was a great help last year and I suspect it will be this year as well. Presumably most of it is still relevant.

Cheers again Squib

"Makey Makey is great but may be a bit pricey. A bat detector, do you have them in shops there? Also, John Adams Hot Wires Electronics Kit. Also, Kids National Geographic magazine. Also, things like den kit, sleeping bag, binoculars, bird and shell and constellation spotting books (suitable for Australia). Amazon sell Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck hardcover comic collections. I love Uncle Scrooge. Gaming mouse with fancy lights. Bike spoke lights. Hula hoop. Chronicle Books do various titles like 642 things to draw and 642 things to write about. Stop animation stuff like modelling clay, clay board and tools, book called Animation Studio, DVD called A Town Like Panic or some other stop animation, children's book Below by Meg McKinlay (LittleSquib is 11 and read this book twice), The World's Smallest Post Service DIY Activity Kit, totem tennis, bunch of stuff from Smiggle or Typo, Djeco do a great range of art stuff, Smart about the Arts do a range of kids books on various artists (for about 9-10 year old), Hot Wheels do a Mars Rover Curiosity... or you could just get them a surf shop voucher. Or really upset them and give them a charitable goat

Best educational apps? Starwalk and The Elements

But it's true. We are all drowning in crap and Christmas is a pain in the arse"