Note: This post is intended to be part of a series of Christmas dialogues. Dunno if I'll give them all their own posts or just keep appending to this one. Let me know if you can't follow the format. If something doesn't make sense, it probably means I've lost track of all the bloody pseudonyms.
7:30PM
[Stixy] Alright, what's everyone having?
[Terra] Chippies!
[Stixy] Of course. Terra's having chippies.
[Sandy] You want something to go with your chippies, luv?
[Terra] No.
[Sandy] Uh-huh. Alright, let's look at the specials, shall we.
[Bry] Can I get pizza?
[Sandy] I don't think they have pizza, sweetie. Look at the menu.
[Phil] Rissoles.
[Sunny] That sounds good.
[Stumpy] You want rissoles, mate? Alright, what about you Trude?
[Trude] I dunno.
[Sin] Sausages, please.
[Bry] Um, I'll have sausages too, please.
[Sandy] I'll have the seafood basket, with extra chips, and I'll split it with Terra.
[Stumpy] Seafood basket? Not a bad idea.
[Terra] I want ice-cream!
[Sandy] You want ice-cream with your chippies?
[Terra] Yeah!
[Sandy] Okay, we'll see how we go with tea first.
[Stumpy] You want rissoles or sausages too, sweetheart?
[Trude] Okay.
[Stumpy] Which one, luv?
[Trude] Um, I dunno. Sausages. Please.
[Sunny] That sounds good too.
[Stixy] Might go the lasagna, myself, I reckon. Alex?
[Alex] Roast comes with roast veges.
[Stumpy] Hmmmm?
[Alex] Roast of the day. Comes with "roast potatoes and veges". Haven't seen a pub meal with roast veges for a while.
[Aaron] Aahhh, you're right. It's mostly all that side-salad shit these days, innit?
[Alex] Uh-huh.
[Stumpy] Mmmm. Sounds good. I'll have one'a them.
[Alex] Yeah, That'll do.
[Aaron] Yep, might go one meself. What about you, darl?
[Trish] No. I'm gonna be fancy and have chicken parmigiana.
[Sunny] Oh, that sounds good too.
[Stixy] Alright, so that's a seafood basket, with extra chips ...
[Terra] And ice-cream!
[Stixy] ... three roasts, three sausages, rissoles, chicken parmigiana ... were you having sausages or rissoles, Sunny?
[Sunny] Ah, no; I'll have the chicken parmigiana too, please.
[Stixy] And two chicken parmigianas. Now, what about drinks?
8:00PM
[Aaron] What the bloody hell's this?
[Waitress] Is something wrong?
[Aaron] The roast was supposed to come with roast veges; not a piddling little spoonful of boiled carrots, beans and bloody zucchini.
[Waitress] I'm sorry sir, no; the potatoes are roasted.
[Stumpy] Nah, nah, lookit this, it says it here, "roast potatoes AND veges".
[Waitress] That's right sir, roast potatoes is one thing and veges is a separate item.
[Stumpy] ... Unbelievable.
[Aaron] Dirty bastards.
9:00PM
[Bouncer] Excuse me, everyone; I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to make your way over to the poker-machine area. We're shutting this part of the establishment down for the evening.
[Stixy] What? It's nine o'clock.
[Bouncer] Yep. We shut down the main area at this time every night.
[Stixy] Wait, every night?
[Bouncer] That's right.
[Stixy] What's ya busiest night then?
[Bouncer] This is it.
[Stixy] Shit, ay. Where do all the young fellas go then?
[Bouncer] ... Not here. At home on Facebook, probably.
[Stixy] Bloody hell.
9:10PM (CARPARK)
[Aaron] I can't bloody believe that.
[Trish] It's a bit sad, innit?
[Stixy] Way things are goin', I guess.
[Stumpy] Still seems a bit defeatist, doesn't it? Closin' down at nine o'clock?
[Stixy] Except the pokies -- goes to show where the money is.
[Aaron] Ah, it's bullshit. You see the average age of those fellas in there? Ya not gonna last long relyin' on that.
[Trish] Mmm, does seem a bit short-sighted, dunnit?
[Aaron] Bloody oath.
[Stixy] Well, it is owned by Woollies.
[Aaron] What? Nah, that's only the bottle-o part, innit?
[Stixy] Nah, the whole lot. They own mosta the pubs 'round here now.
[Aaron] Really?
[Stixy] Mm-Hmm.
[Aaron] ... Well, I'll be buggered. Dirty bastards. Got their fingers in everything, don't they?
[Stixy] Yep.
[Aaron] Hmmm, yeah ... well, in that case, fuck 'em; I'd rather see 'em go bust.
[Stumpy] Yeah, after that roast vege business, I'm inclined to agree.
[Terra] Yee-ah, fuck 'em!
[Sandy] Oi, you!
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
Monday, 22 December 2014
Cricket and North Korea (all the stuff you love)
'ey, 'ow is everyone?
What've I bin upta? 'ad rellies over, 'ay. Bin sittin' 'round, gasbaggin', watchin' cricket onna telly, feedin' me gob; reckon I mighta gained 'bout ten kilos, 'n' me grammar's maybe slippin' a bit too, 'ay.
'owsabout yous fullas?
***
I know "the news" isn't popular on here, but I did want to say something about this "North Korea hacked Sony" story.
As far as I can see, it's all bullshit.
To me, it looks like Sony and the American government are wringing a bucket-load of lemonade out of some pretty iffy fruit, and the way the story's being reported by many media outlets, is a fine example of how "independent" news organisations can function as a political mouthpiece.
Just wanted to get that off my chest. Anyone else got an opinion on it?
What've I bin upta? 'ad rellies over, 'ay. Bin sittin' 'round, gasbaggin', watchin' cricket onna telly, feedin' me gob; reckon I mighta gained 'bout ten kilos, 'n' me grammar's maybe slippin' a bit too, 'ay.
'owsabout yous fullas?
***
I know "the news" isn't popular on here, but I did want to say something about this "North Korea hacked Sony" story.
As far as I can see, it's all bullshit.
To me, it looks like Sony and the American government are wringing a bucket-load of lemonade out of some pretty iffy fruit, and the way the story's being reported by many media outlets, is a fine example of how "independent" news organisations can function as a political mouthpiece.
Just wanted to get that off my chest. Anyone else got an opinion on it?
Friday, 12 December 2014
The (sometimes) Lucky(ish) Country (for some people)
I was listening to the latest episode of one of my favourite podcasts tonight; and the German host was talking about what's been happening in his neck of the woods lately.
He said his wife had wanted to do some sewing, but when they went to buy fabric they found they couldn't get to the shop. Apparently a group of about 4000 nazis had come to town to "fight islamists", and a coalition of about 6000 socialists & others had shown up to fight the nazis.
Christ, I hope things never get like that here.
Anybody seen that sort of thing up close?
He said his wife had wanted to do some sewing, but when they went to buy fabric they found they couldn't get to the shop. Apparently a group of about 4000 nazis had come to town to "fight islamists", and a coalition of about 6000 socialists & others had shown up to fight the nazis.
Christ, I hope things never get like that here.
Anybody seen that sort of thing up close?
Saturday, 6 December 2014
The Spirit Of Giving A Shit
As I've mentioned before, the adults in my family don't exchange Chrissy presents. We do give pressies to the kids though.
However, this year, it strikes me that a number of the kids in my family already have more toys and gadgets and shit than they could shake a small tree at. Not only that, but some of them are so spoiled that they don't appreciate anything they're given anyway.
The question then becomes, what do you get for a kid who has everything? I'd like to get things that are practical and/or educational, so that even if the gift is not appreciated, it can still be useful.
Any ideas? Suggestions for children of all ages welcome, but nothing too expensive please.
Examples could be good books for kids/teens, educational games or apps, online learning services that have an annual subscription, puzzles, sports equipment, etc.
***
The other thing I do at this time each year is start looking for organisations to donate money to.
I like to get a mix of regular charities and free services in there if I can. Wikimedia Foundation, for instance, is one that always makes the list, because I get so much damn use out of what they do.
Again, all suggestions welcome.
However, this year, it strikes me that a number of the kids in my family already have more toys and gadgets and shit than they could shake a small tree at. Not only that, but some of them are so spoiled that they don't appreciate anything they're given anyway.
The question then becomes, what do you get for a kid who has everything? I'd like to get things that are practical and/or educational, so that even if the gift is not appreciated, it can still be useful.
Any ideas? Suggestions for children of all ages welcome, but nothing too expensive please.
Examples could be good books for kids/teens, educational games or apps, online learning services that have an annual subscription, puzzles, sports equipment, etc.
***
The other thing I do at this time each year is start looking for organisations to donate money to.
I like to get a mix of regular charities and free services in there if I can. Wikimedia Foundation, for instance, is one that always makes the list, because I get so much damn use out of what they do.
Again, all suggestions welcome.
Friday, 5 December 2014
Well, fuck ...
GENERAL STUFF
We had a bit of a storm last week. A number of big trees came down, and a lot of the neighbours had their windows smashed and their cars dinged up by hail. Fortunately my place was spared any damage, but we did lose power for a few days.
Luckily, I managed to get my hands on a portable generator, so I was able to keep the fridge running at least.
It turned out the problem had more to do with dodgy wiring within the complex than the power company dragging its feet. Typical. A lot of the work that's been done here is so fuckin' shonky it can't possibly be legal. I can only imagine what went on when the building inspector approved this place. Part of me would like to move out, but it's such a hassle and the location's good. Also, general chat has started in the family around the subject of my folks and I getting a place together (so that I can look after them in their old age), and I don't think that's going to be all that far off.
Speaking of living with people, the storm may have actually solved my little cousin problem. Lil'cuz has been cleaning up storm damage around her place, and I think she and her flatmate have sorted out their differences. It's funny the way disasters can bring people together, even minor ones.
LANGUAGEY STUFF
While the power was out, I spent most of the time with the wireless tuned to ABC local, in case of updates. One night they had an expert on language on to talk about the evolution of English. Quite interesting.
She talked about how, if you go back a few hundred years, English would have barely been comprehensible, and that when it started to be written down, it was mostly phonetic -- meaning that most of what we think of as silent letters today, were pronounced at that time. She quoted some historical texts, in which pedantic scholars bemoaned the lazy, unedcuted, commoners' pronunciation of certain words (pronunciations which are now "proper" English) and ranted about proper pronunciation (which sounds absolutely ridiculous to modern ears).
Then they had people call in to ask questions. Apparently nobody had understood anything she'd said, because the only thing anyone wanted to talk about was their own peevish discontent with how younger people talk. No matter how many times the woman kept saying things like "Well, would you want to go back to pronouncing the 'p' in cupboard, or the 'l' in talk, or the 'g' in thing?" NOBODY got the message.
Also, did you know that 'gh' (like in 'daughter') was commonly used to represent that throat clearing noise that's still common in Dutch, Welsh, and Arabic, but has disappeared from English?
SKETCHY STUFF
When Christmas rolls around, this blog will be a year old. And that means it's been a year since I've done anything other than a quick doodle in my notepad. This was supposed to be a place to put my drawings and paintings and stuff. Considering that sketching used to be the main thing I did to relax, I'd say that something's gone terribly wrong with the whole project.
If I'm going to make a resolution for next year, it's to get back in the swing of things artistically. No doubt things are going to be a bit wonky to start with, given the time that's passed, but I'm just going to have to knuckle down and get on with it.
In an attempt to get the juices flowing, I've been spending some time looking at stuff that inspired me when I was young. Namely, old 2000AD & Conan comics.
Enjoy some samples.
Also, thanks to L.C., I now have this album stuck in my head. Enjoy that too:
How goes it with everyone else?
We had a bit of a storm last week. A number of big trees came down, and a lot of the neighbours had their windows smashed and their cars dinged up by hail. Fortunately my place was spared any damage, but we did lose power for a few days.
Luckily, I managed to get my hands on a portable generator, so I was able to keep the fridge running at least.
It turned out the problem had more to do with dodgy wiring within the complex than the power company dragging its feet. Typical. A lot of the work that's been done here is so fuckin' shonky it can't possibly be legal. I can only imagine what went on when the building inspector approved this place. Part of me would like to move out, but it's such a hassle and the location's good. Also, general chat has started in the family around the subject of my folks and I getting a place together (so that I can look after them in their old age), and I don't think that's going to be all that far off.
Speaking of living with people, the storm may have actually solved my little cousin problem. Lil'cuz has been cleaning up storm damage around her place, and I think she and her flatmate have sorted out their differences. It's funny the way disasters can bring people together, even minor ones.
LANGUAGEY STUFF
While the power was out, I spent most of the time with the wireless tuned to ABC local, in case of updates. One night they had an expert on language on to talk about the evolution of English. Quite interesting.
She talked about how, if you go back a few hundred years, English would have barely been comprehensible, and that when it started to be written down, it was mostly phonetic -- meaning that most of what we think of as silent letters today, were pronounced at that time. She quoted some historical texts, in which pedantic scholars bemoaned the lazy, unedcuted, commoners' pronunciation of certain words (pronunciations which are now "proper" English) and ranted about proper pronunciation (which sounds absolutely ridiculous to modern ears).
Then they had people call in to ask questions. Apparently nobody had understood anything she'd said, because the only thing anyone wanted to talk about was their own peevish discontent with how younger people talk. No matter how many times the woman kept saying things like "Well, would you want to go back to pronouncing the 'p' in cupboard, or the 'l' in talk, or the 'g' in thing?" NOBODY got the message.
Also, did you know that 'gh' (like in 'daughter') was commonly used to represent that throat clearing noise that's still common in Dutch, Welsh, and Arabic, but has disappeared from English?
SKETCHY STUFF
When Christmas rolls around, this blog will be a year old. And that means it's been a year since I've done anything other than a quick doodle in my notepad. This was supposed to be a place to put my drawings and paintings and stuff. Considering that sketching used to be the main thing I did to relax, I'd say that something's gone terribly wrong with the whole project.
If I'm going to make a resolution for next year, it's to get back in the swing of things artistically. No doubt things are going to be a bit wonky to start with, given the time that's passed, but I'm just going to have to knuckle down and get on with it.
In an attempt to get the juices flowing, I've been spending some time looking at stuff that inspired me when I was young. Namely, old 2000AD & Conan comics.
Enjoy some samples.
Also, thanks to L.C., I now have this album stuck in my head. Enjoy that too:
How goes it with everyone else?
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