I'm in unusually high spirits at the moment

Haven't got a clue why that is—maybe it's because everything ran uncommonly smoothly today; maybe it's because I voted early, so I don't have that to worry about that any more—whatever the case, I don't plan on knocking a gift-horse in the mouth. Here's some videos to symbolise my current exuberance:

Have I mentioned before how much I love acrobatics, or how happy I am that there's now a number of musical sub-genres that take inspiration from '80s synth pop? What's that—I've only mentioned these things about a hundred times? Well then, allow me to begin making up for this gross negligence. I highly recommend listening to the first video while watching the other two.

It's Gonna Be Fine

It seems like everything's fucked at the moment. If it's not the prospect of a minority government here in Oz, it's the prospect of the Brexit causing the markets to collapse. And now the fuckin' ABC has stopped making "The Book Club" episodes available for ex-pats to download. Cunts.

Well, let me just assure you, there's no reason to panic.

First of all, there's no reason to fear a hung parliament or cross-benchers holding the balance of power in the senate. Despite the shit coming out of Bill, Malcolm, and every other fuckin' talking head in the media, the last hung parliament we had worked fine. In fact, I'd say the thing you should be more worried about is either of the big parties getting control of both houses. And no, I don't particularly trust the ALP—not after last time around. Look, just keep calm and vote for whichever cunt takes your fancy; even if they're an independent or some way-out minor-party ding-bat. After all, we've got a fuckin' preferential voting system in this country, so you might as well put it to good use.

Also, there's no point in panicking over Brexit. Christ, one of my nephews was on the verge of tears on the weekend, because he thought there was going to be a third world war. Well, maybe there will be; but for that, my money's on the US picking a fight with China and/or Russia. Anyway, yes, the markets have taken a bit of a hit, but that has itself largely been the product of blind panic. Things'll bounce back again. … Well, sort of … look, the EU was probably going to suffer some sort of major economic crisis in the not-too-distant future anyway—regardless of whether the UK stayed or not. Maybe this hastens things along a little bit, but I think the writing was already well and truly on the wall. And yes, the decoupling process is probably going to be far from smooth and simple—there's going to be all kinds of issues with migrants and business and property to sort out—but frankly, after what happened with Greece and Cyprus—I think I probably would have been willing to risk it too.*

And as for the fuckin' Book Club—watch this space—because I'm already working on a way to remedy the issue. See, just like I said: it's gonna be fine.

*I think the biggest issue you're going to face in the UK is a bursting property bubble, but that was coming either way as well. If you're stuck over there for the long haul, the most you can probably do is just hang on and hope for the best.

Well, that's my view from the comfort of my armchair on the other side of the world. I'd be more than interested to hear what somebody who's living in the middle of it has to say though.

It had to happen sooner or later.

So, Google has locked me out of my other account. It seems the old username and password model just doesn't provide enough security for an account that I only use to make blog comments. After all—as Google have just informed me—how do they know that I'm not some hacker who's stolen the real Alex's username and password? How can they possibly know I am who I say I am—unless I can prove it by giving them my location, phone number, date of birth, secondary email, names of friends and associates, mood, menstrual status, and detailed description of my last bowel movement. Oh, and solve some of the most obnoxious CAPTCHAS ever devised, of course.

I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Google is a giant data-mining organisation. Somebody who guards their identity to the degree that I do is essentially worthless to them. More to the point, if I'm not putting out, I'm abusing the system by getting a free ride. Hey, it's gass, grass, or personal info, honey; nobody rides for free here. Not that I think I'm important enough for this to be personal. Nobody at the company has singled me out or "targetted" me. No, like a tiny gnat on the back of an elephant, I'm well and truly beneath that sort of notice; but I'm still a parasite that they'd rather be without, and this time around, I just happen to be the one who copped the banana leaf when the elephant swatted an itch.

I just hope the bastard doesn't knock me off completely the next time he takes a swipe.

Oh, and before anyone asks, yes I do realise the irony of using a Google-owned platform to bitch about the size and nature of Google.

Also, despite the dramatic prose, it shouldn't be that easy for this account to get swatted. At the very least, I've got it linked to a secondary non-Google email address. I'll be fucked if I'm giving them anything more than that though.

I'm Not Dead. How About You?

Apart from the Game Of Thrones comments, things have been pretty lifeless around here lately. Basically, I'm still spending every second of my free time with my nose buried in old British sci-fi comics. Not that I've had an abundance of free time to begin with. Work is piling up and there's been family things going on. Not bad things, just time-consuming things. I was thinking recently about when I was a kid, and how sometimes there would be days when I had nothing to do and I would have to find ways to amuse myself. Now I've got a fucking to-do list that never stops growing, and I just know there's no way I'm going to get through everything on it before I die.

But enough of that crap. Since I don't have the time or the energy to compose a proper post at the moment, I thought I might spare my decent material and tap out a quick ramble about some of the superficial shit that's been going on.

Election is coming up quickly. Haven't been paying too much attention to it this time around. I've done the round trip from ignorant twat to political tragic and back again in less than ten years. I keep hearing that Turnbull is a shoo-in. I intend to preference Labor, but am looking at third party options. I don't like the bloke who's leading The Greens at the moment, and I've never felt completely at ease with The Greens in general. Am seriously looking at Xenophon. Desperate for Barnaby Rubble to begone from public life, but sadly (or perhaps happily) am not in his electorate. How 'bout the resta yez?

Krita—one of my favourite sketching programs—successfully completed their latest crowd-funding campaign. They're going to put the money into re-writing the text tool, which is fantastic news, since the current text tool is fuckin' shithouse. They also just released a new major version of the program, which incorporates some basic animation tools; which is great if you're an animator, but doesn't do much for me. Still, there's a lot of small improvements in there as well. Also, they've started packaging their releases in "run anywhere" executable archives, which means that now you can just download and run the program without needing to install it, or any of the libraries it depends on. Hooray!

Krita's sketch tool is supposed to make it easy to draw nice pictures fast; but all I did was make a big scratchy mess.

I'm sure nobody remembers this, but at the start of the year I said that one of the things I wanted to do in 2016 was take the new Perl v6 scripting language for a test drive. Well, I haven't gotten around to doing that yet, but I would just like to take a minute to acknowledge how wonderful Perl v5 still is. Sure, it's as old as the hills, and it can turn out fuckin' unreadable if you're not careful (or don't do comments), and yes everybody wants to do everything in fuckin' Python nowadays; but when it comes to pumping out quick and dirty scripts that involve complex text manipulation, I'll take shitty old Perl any day of the week, thank you very much. It's not called "The Swiss Army Chainsaw" for nothing, ya know.

And while I'm praising things, can I just point out how wonderful the Matroska multi-media container format is. One day I might write more about it, but if you don't know, its most common form is those video files you see with the ".mkv" at the end. It was originally intended to give you all the features of a DVD (and more) in a single file. It can hold virtually any type of audio/visual stream; it allows multiple video streams per track (alternate angles), multiple audio streams (languages, stereo vs surround, etc), and multiple subtitles; you can embed multiple fonts for the subtitles, just in case you want every character's speech to look unique; pickies can be embedded as "cover art"; and you can make chapter-points and virtual-tracks that play bits of different tracks together in any order; you can even put every episode of a show into a single file, along with only a single instance of the shows opening and closing credits, but then program the file to play that opening and closing at the beginning and end of every episode. It's just a shame the specification for the menu feature was never finished. It's also a shame that nobody's ever made a nice easy tool for creating files that take advantage of all these features … or a player that can handle them all.

I spent a good amount of time learning about Matroska files back in the days when I was doing video production. See, I had this crazy idea that when the world moved away from CD/DVD/etc and into online media distribution, MKV was going to be the vehicle of choice. Well, I guess it is for pirated content, but most legitimate sources have eschewed downloading altogether, in favour of streaming; and those that don't seem to have settled on MP4. Shows what I know, 'ay? Still, a fine format.

So, what rubbish have you had on your mind lately.

Orange Is The New Black: Season 4

I probably won't get time to watch this for at least another week. Feel free to start without me.

Since I don't want a 200+ line review pinned to the top of my blog, I've hidden the body of this post; so you'll have to click the "Read more" link below if you want to read it. I'm considering moving links to this and the Game Of Thrones page over to the right-hand column instead.

• Immediate Reactions
• Episode 1
• Episode 2
• Episode 3
• Episode 4
• Episode 5
• Episode 6
• Episode 7
• Episode 8
• Episode 9
• Episode 10
• Episode 11
• Episode 12
• Episode 13
• Final Thoughts

EPISODE 1
04:44	Shit, I'm already struggling to remember what happened last season. Hopefully it comes back to me.
05:28	I do remember wanting to see more of Chang (Chen?). That little exchange was nice.
11:43	So, Crazy Eyes is going to be the voice of reason in this relationship?
12:50	I hope this hitman bloke's actually dead. I feel like it would be too cliché otherwise.
13:18	First of all, why do prison uniforms have pockets? Second, nice touch with the bloke wanting a topless trophy shot.
13:31	Bill Cosby jokes? If they make things too topical, people can't help but wonder what sort of time-frame this show takes in. I have enough time-compression issues with Game Of Thrones, thank you very much.
16:35	Who's this redhead woman with the southern accent that's suddenly shown up? Should I recognise her?
18:15	Guessing Piscatella's going to be an important character later on.
20:21	Wait; that bloke who pinched Morello's veil, was he the one that raped Doggett?
21:52	I really appreciate Cindy's little monologue on racism.
22:39	A mobile phone between my tits, I can see; a bunch of keys up my twat, not so much. Probably better than a whole shoe though.
25:26	Something happened between this girl and Chapman at the end of last season, didn't it? I remember … something.
27:57	The Crazy-girl romance ended a lot sooner than I thought it would.
29:07	Oh, the redhead woman was off telly or something, wasn't she? Like a celebrity chef or something?
34:35	Is this bloke the warden? … Hey, I wonder if Chapman's family will ever be heard from again?
40:25	Whoa, that didn't look like a particularly small bunch of keys either. Must've been fun walkin' around with them in there all day.
43:37	Okay, I take it back, the hitman bloke being alive COULD be interesting. Just don't mess it up, show.
45:22	Well done, show. Now we've got a situation where Chapman is prancing around like a hard cunt while Alex is actually killing people.
52:19	Nice dismemberment montage. Just gruesome enough to be effective without being gratuitous. Dunno about the choice of music though. That might have been a bit gratuitous.
END	Okay, it felt less like the beginning of a new season and more like a mopping-up of stuff from the last season. I guess it wasn't a terrible start though.
EPISODE 2
09:32	Who's Sophia Burset? I feel like I should recognise that name. Oh, was that the heroin addict?
10:45	That idea she has about gaining power by being in the majority is going to bite her in the arse later. Tribalism rarely works that way.
13:36	Either they've got an Aussie on staff or one of the writers has discovered the word "twat". They're slipping it in everywhere now.
14:43	No, Sophia wasn't the junkie. Shit, I'm drawing a blank.
17:03	Fatties, Nabraskans, or anyone with too much hair? I think that went right over my head.
20:57	The young Ruiz looks kind of uncanny—there's something wrong with her but I can't figure out what it is. She's still not as bad as the young Doggett though.
23:43	Wow, the Chapman bubble has burst suddenly and unexpectedly.
32:13	Taking the piss out of people who come from the next island over. It's all fun and games until suddenly it's not.
35:39	Oh right, Sophia was the transsexual. To be honest, I didn't even notice she was missing. My memory is falling apart.
38:16	Oh no, there's that Chapman bubble, bigger and more full of shit than ever. Actually, this is getting weird and kind of pathetic now.
44:33	Oh, Kaputo; how I love the tale of a man fighting for his soul.
END	Are we setting up Chapman vs Ruiz? My money would be on Ruiz if Chapman wasn't the main character. I'm also keen to see where Alex's story goes next. Can't believe her old boss is just going to give up on her.
EPISODE 3
07:16	I'm digging the pissing contest between the two middle-aged alpha-women; with the other one watching from the sidelines.
19:22	Yep, the Red/Judy feud is totally what's keeping me going at this point. "Ask the Germans in Wintertime". Nice.
21:24	I don't remember the names of either of the pocket-sized lesbian girls, but given the way they're playing things up, their relationship's obviously about to go tits up. Are we undoing all of our progress from the end of last season?
22:37	Sex offender with a moustache. Did I mention something about clichés before?
24:31	The bloke put on the sex-offender registry for having sex on a public beach with his girlfriend—this is based on a real case. There's also been people put on the registry for public urination.
27:55	Oh Kaputo, the world is getting ready to shit on you again; you just can't see it yet.
28:55	Planting a flag on the moon doesn't mean you own it—I thought a Russian would appreciate that. Whoever's writing this particular plot thread needs a pay rise.
30:20	Chapman might be about to have her business taken out from under her. This plot thread is picking up steam faster than I expected. Then again, there are only 13 episodes, so they can't dally that much.
31:13	Talking shit out of a paper arsehole—I'll have to remember that one.
33:38	Poussey & Soso. That's the names of the tiny lesbians.
41:33	Okay, so the Kaputo story-line is getting pretty compelling to—even if I already feel like I know how it ends (it's Kaputo, after all). The journey is more important than the destination, right?
46:12	The in-person phone-sex session was the first time I've properly laughed this season. Took a while, but it was worth it.
49:47	A little grounding and perspective from Alex there. My guess is we're not going to be seeing too much more from her for a while. Whatever happens next with her is going to be a surprise.
52:44	The Poussey/Soso relationship survives … for now. Glad to see they're not demolishing everything … just yet.
55:32	Well, I was right about the next thing with Alex being a surprise; it just didn't take as long as I was expecting.
END	I don't think there's anything specifically wrong with season 4 so far, but it does seem to be lacking a little punch … or something. Maybe it's because I'm coming straight off Game Of Thrones. I dunno. Anyway, it's not like I'm going to stop watching. … So, forward …
EPISODE 4
02:39	Well, here's Sophia. I can't even remember what she did to get into SHU. She was feuding with the Latinas at one point, but I thought they got over that.
07:54	Healey's mum has a mental illness that only women get. Post-natal psychosis? What'd they do to her?
12:17	Wouldn't it be great if Red found a way to frame Judy for the hitman's murder? Huh? Wouldn't it? I feel a little giddy.
24:21	The puppets and the woman setting the bishop on fire? What fuckin' movie did they see? What time period is this flashback set in?
25:03	Nuh, can't read the movie poster behind him.
43:22	At some point Healey is going to have to commit suicide. In fact, I'm kinda surprised it hasn't happened already.
45:34	Oh, that was a good scene with Doggett & the guard. Best scene of the season so far.
48:32	Frieda, Red, Lolly & Alex. It seems like it should be the "B" plot, but they're totally stealing the show.
49:40	Ah, the power-dynamics of money & fame spelled out in one sentence. Nice.
54:14	Hey it's the junkie … and I finally remember that her name's Nikki.
END	Okay, now I feel like things are starting to pick up. It took 4 episodes, but I'm finally getting into it properly. Here's a thought: New guards, new inmates & a subplot set in maximum security; the show must be doing alright if they can afford all that. Also, I might just start referring to Chapman as "The Paper Arsehole" from now on.
EPISODE 5
02:46	At first, I thought it was strange that the prison was limiting the supply of menstrual pads, when they were the one thing there seemed to be an abundance of earlier. But then I remembered, it's a private prison now.
04:31	Kaputo looks like he uses a 15 year old phone.
07:50	Ah, drunk girls trying to blow out sparklers. We've all seen that at parties and family get-togethers, haven't we?
10:33	"It's like Jessica, but ethnic". I'm tempted to start calling myself Yalex. Hmmm, on second thought, that sounds too much like a Russian search engine, or something.
12:31	So, is the shower-pooper a new or established character?
13:25	From what I've been told, this prison convention shit isn't far fetched at all. I've spoken to people who set these things up for a living.
16:16	This password entry screen on the other hand, is total bullshit.
19:27	"A head toss is only 2 clicks away from a blowie". I'll have to remember that. Don't wanna give anyone the wrong impression.
20:11	Has anyone else ever heard the phrase "on fleek" before? Does it sound as ridiculous to you as it does to me?
23:39	Brilliant way to end the exchange between the apparently gay prison ogre and The Paper Arsehole.
24:55	Is Kaputo getting sucked in by the corporate nonsense, or does he smell the bullshit?
31:04	So, How many clicks from a blowie is Kaputo right now?
39:18	Did she keep that old bloke's driver's license?
46:52	So, The Paper Arsehole is flirting with white-power now. Fantastic. I was wondering how low they were going to take her.
53:59	Could Kaputo be getting mixed up with a woman worse than Fig? Will we get a scene where he turns to Fig as a kind of moral compass? Remember how great a villain Fig was?
55:18	From dog-whistling to outright racism in under 30 seconds. The skinhead with the neck tattoo was a nice touch too.
END	I like where this is going.
EPISODE 6
04:28	Who's sending Loosecheque hate mail?
06:56	Really pleased to see Nikki's not out of the show. And still as charming as ever.
12:17	Kaputo's girlfriend steals his ideas and ditches him. I'm calling it now.
13:16	Border-niggers, huh? Gonna have to put that one up there with sand-niggers.
14:00	So now TPA (Chapman: The Paper Arsehole) is losing everything—except her white-supremacy support group.
26:57	Y'know, I didn't care for TPA that much in the earlier seasons, but the more loathsome & despicable she becomes, the more I'm warming up to her.
30:45	A few more familiar faces down at max. Hey, remember the voodoo lady with the head-scarf?
33:44	I think if I ever reached a point in my life where I had to haggle for tampons—that might be the lowest point.
37:12	I sense the shower-pooper about to strike …
41:45	Did she paper-cut herself to death with the magazine?
44:01	Have I mentioned that Poussey's a great actress? Not yet this season? Oh well, might as well get it out of the way now.
50:16	Tastee negotiates peace in the middle east.
56:56	No! Nikki! No!
END	The Paper Arsehole might be about to get shredded. It's taken half a season, but I'm now fully invested. Well done, show. Just don't fuck it up.
EPISODE 7
05:05	Lolly gets a back story. Should be interesting.
11:41	Red really does care for her girls.
19:39	Love the white-power workout scene. Love Nikki's reaction to it too.
34:11	Thank you, detective Nikki.
37:43	Yep, Kaputo's girlfriend is worse than Fig. So, the question is: Does Kaputo choose the woman or his soul?
46:52	Loving the new Nikki: Straight to the point, maximum info, no bullshit.
55:12	Well, this looks bad, but something tells me they're not killing of TPA. So, the only question is, how does she escape?
END	Okay, that ended in an interesting place, and not where I expected.
EPISODE 8
12:19	"It's not cheating if there's no dick". Oh, Nikki.
22:14	For a second I thought she was microwaving a can, but I think it's a cardboard cup.
23:51	Fixing machinery is a lesbian superpower that straight women don't possess. Classic Doggett.
26:48	Well, haven't the mother/daughter roles reversed?
36:26	I did ask how low they were willing to take TPA. Crack addiction's getting down there if they take it all the way. Also, I've never been into crack, but that shit seemed to kick in pretty bloody quickly.
38:33	Love the conversation on travelling back in time to meet Hitler.
49:29	Hey, remember when Doggett was the scariest thing on this show? We've come a long way since then, haven't we.
52:28	Jesus Christ, was that salt? What the fuck is wrong with this woman of Kaputo's.
55:52	And another sliver of Kaputo's humanity dies.
END	Misery and hopelessness. Just what a prison drama should be. Carry on.
EPISODE 9
06:24	I've actually been waiting for a Blanca back-story since almost season 1. If I remember right, she was the woman doing the sexting.
10:54	So, has red taken TPA & Alex under her wing now? Are they officially "her girls"? Or are they just hanging out?
27:48	Ooh, good scene with Doggett & Boo.
40:42	"Daughters. They're the fuckin' worst". Amen, sister.
47:52	And I thought Alex was hardcore walking around with a bunch of keys in her twat. The nun's got a phone?
END	Go Blanca!
EPISODE 10
35:09	Holy shit, Kaputo's not as far gone as I thought he was.
END	Once again, it seems the more I get into a show, the fewer notes I take. Expect one word sentences and crude pictographs by the end. The crazy girl sex scene was well done, but the story-line with the prison guards is stealing the show at the moment. As soon as they started excavating, it seemed obvious that they were gonna uncover the body, but I'm still interested to see where this goes. Only three episodes left.
EPISODE 11
41:00	A great showing from Red. … But will she break?
END	Wow. Top episode. Almost collected on my prediction of a Healey suicide … but not quite. I guess that's the end of Lolly. Now, how do they resolve this guard situation in the next 2hrs. … Or do they?
EPISODE 12
05:52	There's nothing like a common threat to bring enemies together.
08:42	Wouldn't it be a mindfuck if Poussey & Soso actually used Lolly's time machine to successfully travel back in time?
16:57	And life finds a way to fuck Kaputo again. Not that I think it's finished fucking him in this season—not by a long shot.
31:27	Beautiful scene with Kaputo telling Bailey to get out while he can. No idea where this is going now. Having a sit-in that actually works seems kinda piss-weak. Surely there'd have to be some sort of plot twist.
52:08	I claim this scene with Fig as a victory for my precognitive abilities. Christ, at this point I have to take whatever I can get. Also, I'm surprised by how much I missed Fig.
58:15	Shouldn't someone try to resuscitate Poussey? She's only been out for a couple of minutes.
END	Does this mean no more Poussey? If so, the show's losing one of its best performers. Maybe she's been picked up for something else.
EPISODE 13
14:32	The Afghanistan-war-story car ride was magnificent. Do you think it's going to be relevant that they're showing Bailey's house?
END	Dunno how I feel about the ending. Don't really appreciate those sort of cliffhangers; especially since I'm going to have to wait twelve months for a resolution. Of course, one would think, if she was going to pull the trigger, they would have ended with the gunshot; which only adds extra frustration, by making the cliffhanger also seem kinda pointless. All-in-all, I reckon this one felt weaker than the previous two.
FINAL THOUGHTS
It's funny how this show has changed over the course of four seasons. In the beginning, everyone and everything in the prison felt threatening. Remember when Crazy-Eyes was terrifying? The clichéd big, black, psycho, lesbo who took a fancy to our soft, white, protagonist on the first day. And then there was Red, and then Doggett. See, now that we know these people, who—for the most part—aren't total monsters, Lichfield's started to feel a lot safer. As a result, I've noticed two big changes in the story dynamics: First of all—since the prisoners themselves now feel like a (semi-)functional community of well-rounded characters who aren't going to murder each other for fun—we've had to externalise the threat. Now the biggest and clearest danger faced by our band of lovable misfits comes from the way outsiders perceive them. We see this with the new prison guards, most of whom think they can do anything they want to the inmates, because they're just a bunch of criminal scumbags. Same thing with the prison administration, who view everything through a prism of spreadsheets and PR spin—when asked about prisoner treatment, their practised response was always along the lines of "we're running a prison, not a luxury hotel". The implication in both instances is that these people deserve anything and everything that happens to them, because they're no longer really people. I don't know how much this change has been precipitated by planning and how much by necessity, but I'm very pleased they've gone in this direction. It's exactly where I wanted the show to go. … Oh, and the cherry on top was celebrity inmate Judy King—who makes sure nobody overlooks the point, by providing us with a clear means of comparison. The second big change I've noticed is that a persistent feeling of misery and hopelessness has crept in. With (literally) nowhere to go, a lot of the characters have started moving in circles. They get together, break up, then get back together again. They have the same disagreements over and over. There's little room for growth or improvement. Yes there are small victories and temporary highs, but on average, everyone seems to be trending towards decline. Even the degree to which some of these people may be beyond change is crystallising. Will Nikki ever be able to give up heroin? What about Morello—remember what she said about watching herself fuck up her own life in exactly the same way again, but not being able to stop? Even for the ones who aren't that badly broken, what chance do they have of reform? Does anybody seriously think that Diaz Sr isn't going to end up back inside? And as for the ones who do have a fighting chance, well, look what happened to Poussey. The show has started to feel like a never-ending downward spiral; and while I don't know how well that's going to work from a story perspective, I do appreciate them doing it. Overall, I think the season got off to a slow start, got really, really good, but then ended on a bit of a flat note. I like a lot of the directional changes they've made, but I'm not 100% sold on the execution—more like 90%. I'll give it an A-

Game of Thrones, Season … um … 2016—discussion!

It's true, I can't actually remember what season we're up to. I think it's six, but it could be five. Anyway, I haven't watched any of it yet, and I might wait until all the episodes are out and then sit down and watch them all at once.

I thought I'd throw this page up anyway, however, and if anyone wants to kick things off, I'm just as happy to catch up and watch them as they come out.