Wednesday, 9 May 2018

Eurovision 2018

This year, Eurovision kinda crept up on me. So this's all you get until I get around to doing a proper synopsis. In the meantime, feel free to post comments.

60 comments :

suze2000 said...

Macauley Culkin is back! Seems like the Czech Republic de-iced him and put him on stage. So far, mostly a snoozefest. I'm rewatching SF1 on SBS on Demand. Which is frustrating because a lot of the songs are drastically cut down. I didn't notice it at first, but some of the acts are getting mere 30secs on this replay. :(

suze2000 said...

Finland is only missing the knife thrower, but at least the song is lots of fun.

WTF was going on with Israel?

Enjoyed Crotia's effort, but the dress was decidedly odd.

Switzerland brought back Shakira. With flares which seemed a little dangerous. And while she could sing, the song was a bit boring.

LOVED Ireland, and cool of them to have male couple dancers in a love song. And as I'm not a fan of Eurovision ballads, this is a big thing that I like this.

The costume designer for Cypress was obviously watching Ghostbusters for their inspiration. But the song was heaps of fun, liked that, would vote.

Azebaijan needed to put her pants back on.

Liked Iceland, but clearly the Australians watching live did not.

Belgium's song was good, but I'm not sure it'll get many votes.

Belarus was just CREEPY.

Estonia was okay, she could certainly sing.

Thought Austria was okay, HATED the drop-crotch pants. They make every person look like a baby with a full nappy.

Armenia was just okay. He certainly had a powerful voice.

I wonder whether I'll get to watch tomorrow night with hubby. He's less keen on Eurovision than me.












Alex said...

Have you seen Macauley Culkin recently? I'll bet he wishes he looked this good. Actually, even the Czechs I know can't stand whoever that bloke is.

Big baggy hip-hop pants are stupid in general.

Estonia is probably my favourite from what I've seen so far. Was not into Ireland. Like you, I don't generally care for ballads, and dancers aside, this one was no exception. I have been informed that Israel & Cyprus are doing well with the bookies.

suze2000 said...

Norway: previous winner. Lots of fun. Two thumbs up

Romania: Bring out the gimp and Julia Zamiro. Wind machine! At least it's not a ballad. Kind of. 80s power ballad, that's what it is

Viking acapella group!!!

suze2000 said...

Serbia: Einstein with a prop recorder! Very ethnic. Good use of wind machines. Thumb up.

A lot of beards this year. I'm not that much of a fan unless they are trimmed short.

San Marino: Prop robots! Female bodybuilders?

Denmark: VIKINGS!!! This is a good one for drinking games: beards, useless props, singing in a language not English OR their own, seems like an audience favourite. SNOW!

Vikings the TV show just got a massive ratings boost. Three thumbs up.



Alex said...

Hmm, I might have to start watching Vikings.

Was not a fan of Norway.

I'm also counting the number of navel-deep necklines on outfits.

Alex said...

Sounds like you managed to wrangle Hubby into watching after all, eh Suze?

Alex said...

Moldova: Rules say there's a maximum of 6 people allowed on stage. They had 4 blokes and 2 sheilas. Yet, during bits of the song, there are three "parts" of sheilas visible through the little windows. Did one of the blokes do a quick costume change, in and out of drag?

Alex said...

Netherlands: Oh dear, I did a whole post on how I feel about this style of "country" music. Suffice to say, I'm not a fan.

Alex said...

What the fuck is "crumping"?

Oh, and what do you think of the hosts?

suze2000 said...

Moldova: apparently good that I missed it. (was cooking tea)

Holland: Country music and while I don't dislike it, the visuals of a white guy singing country with four black dudes as support isn't quite right. Mind you, it's better than Israel's disturbing effort.

suze2000 said...

The Australian ones or the Portuguese ones?

suze2000 said...

(hosts)

Alex said...

Also, can you explain these fuckin' Melbourne tourism ads to me? I think they busted my wank-o-metre.

Alex said...

Both (hosts)

Alex said...

The little video vignette before Australia's song, did they film it in a slum? The only thing it was missing was homeless people.

suze2000 said...

Why is SF2 always so much better than SF1?

Jessica Mouboy SMASHED IT

Alex said...

Australia: Yawn. Pretty standard fare for Eurovision. She kinda dances like she's drunk. Or maybe that's how everyone dances these days.

Alex said...

Georgia: If they had a bit more of a harmony going, I could've seen myself getting into that one. It was just a bit ... sparse.

suze2000 said...

Haha Melbourne is FULL of homeless people.

And I actually like the Portugese hosts- their English is amazing.

As for ours: I dunno, they might get to be good, next year, if they get another chance at it.

Georgia: a fucking snooze-fest and the firework waterfall cannot save it. They definitely do not want to host next year. But of course, they are following a SMASH - JESS. Terrible programming.

Alex said...

I've just got a dozen text messages from people who were blown away by Jess. Guess I'm the only one who wasn't.

Alex said...

Poland: Tonight is full of songs that have bits in them that I really like, but aren't good enough for me to like overall.

I really like the Portuguese host with the rubbery face and the great big cat eyes. I think I will make her my favourite Portuguese celebrity. I was missing one up until now.

suze2000 said...

Malta: TARDIS on stage almost saving it.

Alex said...

Malta: Not a bad song. Dancer forget her costume and had to perform in her undies, I guess.

When Julia and Sam took over hosting, I lamented how much I missed Terry Wogan. Now I miss Sam and Julia.

suze2000 said...

Yes you were the only one who did not love Jess. I almost cried. Shat all over Dami's effort.

suze2000 said...

Yeah, well nobody is Wogan. Plus, he's dead. I'd like to see Lee Lin Chin do it.

Alex said...

I really liked Dami. Also, she would have won, if it wasn't for that pesky jury.

Hmm, can we at least agree that the bloke from last year was shit?

Alex said...

Hungary: I like metal, and I thought I was going to like this, up until it turned all screamy and pathetic ... and slightly out of tune?

suze2000 said...

Hungary: Pre-teen heavy metal...WAIT CROWDSURFING GUITARIST!!

For a Eurovision song, it's not bad, in execution. Mind you, the key change and all the pyrotechnics will END your drinking game. :D

suze2000 said...

Yes, last year's Australian guy was shit. Well he himself is lovely, I'm sure, but the song did not grab me at all.

suze2000 said...

Latvia: It takes quite a skill to sing English so badly that I think she's singing in Latvian.

Alex said...

Latvia: Yes, I find it so believable that blokes think of her as "the funny girl". Now excuse me while I go find my eyes. I rolled them so hard they fell out of my hard.

Alex said...

Sweden: He's so close to Michael Jackson it's scary.

Alex said...

Also, in my previous comment, my eyes were supposed to fall out of my head. Can't blame that one on auto-correct. Flat out typo.

suze2000 said...

Sweden: It's alright. It's not going to win.

Would be better if he had two backup singers to complete the Bee Gees vibe.

Montenegro: clearly cannot afford to enter, let alone host.

Alex said...

Montenegro: It kinda picked up nicely at the end, but I was so bored as the start, I started thinking about whether or not Montenegro translates to "black mountains". Any idea?

suze2000 said...

God that was boring. Prop piano notwithstanding. Awful, though well sung.

Alex said...

Slovenia: Increment the neckline counter. I liked the bit that led into the chorus, but then there was no fuckin' chorus. Also, I can't decide whether I loved or hated the fake technical difficulties.

suze2000 said...

Slovenia: got my attention, not bad, until they turned off the music. Would have got more votes if they sung a little in English - that's been a big thing in recent Eurovisions.

Alex said...

Ukraine: Right, now that's what I fuckin' tune into Eurovision for. Took two nights to get there, but there's nothing like ending on a high note.

suze2000 said...

Ukranian vampire having a wank in his coffin? Good prop, not sure if it's a winner. Again singing in English so bad I thought it was his own language. Marilyn Manson's missing his single contact lens. Oh he's stripped and playing his prop coffin piano. WAIT! HIS STEPS ARE ON FIRE. Okay I'm enjoying this quite a lot. Yep

suze2000 said...

You're right - that IS what we watch Eurovision for.

Alex said...

Myf: "I'm about as sexy as an ironing board"

Yep, when I think of Myf's body-shape, "ironing board" is the first thing that comes to mind.

Alex said...

Who's going through!?

Spoiler (The ones I like almost never do)

Alex said...

Boomerang? Is that a social media platform? I've never heard of it.

The girl in the wheelchair obviously understands English, but refuses to speak it? The Ruskies are getting to be as bad as the Frogs.

suze2000 said...

I missed that. Jesus when are people going to appreciate their bodies?

suze2000 said...

They edited the voting period. Just as well, I need to get up in the morning.

Alex said...

It's also laughable. I can remember a time when "Spicks and Specks" was one of the highest rating shows on television and Myf was a big BIG deal amongst blokes over 30. I know of a bunch of websites that were getting hundreds of hits per day on pages that just mentioned her. I even knew one woman who was complaining because she couldn't work out why her website was getting thousands of hits from people Googling "Myf Warhurst nudes".

suze2000 said...

If Denmark don't make it, I'm going to be VERY upset

Oh wait, they got in

Alex said...

Well, I'll definitely be watching the final then (re:Denmark)

suze2000 said...

Yes, haha. So will I. I hope I don't have a hangover on Monday when I have to get up at 5:15 for work. I won't be online though as I have a party to go to .

Alex said...

Have fun then. Goodnight Suze.

suze2000 said...

I canNOT believe who won.

*angry face*

suze2000 said...

And I was so upset about it, I did not sleep, so had to call in sick today because I got a blinder of a headache from lack of sleep. Sheesh.

suze2000 said...

I'm waiting for your comments until I write more because I don't want to spoil you if you missed it and are planning to watch on demand.

Alex said...

No, I was so worried about being spoiled that I got up and watched the finals at 5:00am.

Then I spent the rest of Sunday writing up some stuff to post at the top of this page, but I didn't quite get it finished. And I've been busy with work shit all day today.

Like you, I also made an angry face. I wasn't surprised though. When I fist saw Irael's act, I said "That's so stupid it'll probably win". Friends and family thought I was bonkers. The fallout from this ridiculous outcome is that my dad reckons he won't ever watch again, saying he's now officially too old to "get it".

Aside from the horrific results, how did your party go?

suze2000 said...

Pleasant enough. I had to make a tarte tartin for dessert because the promise Portuguese tarts were not to be found in my usual shop. But it only took an hour and was delicious so I guess that's a win. The host and I both had crazy early starts so we agreed to skip the voting and end the party early, only as I said before I was awake half the night anyway and couldn't go to work, despite doing the sensible thing and staying sober enough to drive home. And now I'm dying to head to bed, but it's way too early.

I'm not dedicated enough to get up at 5am. Maybe one day I'll be in NZ or somewhere that won't be so insane.

I really wanted the vampire to win, or Macauley Culkin - or the UK lady, that was lots of fun. Do not understand why Italy got such high votes, it was delivered in such an angry way.

I think Israel won in a backlash against the comments of the Portuguese guy who won last year - he said some arrogant things about it and I think the audience might have taken offense at him.

Alex said...

I honestly can't imagine there would've been that many people voting that strategically over what that Portuguese bloke said a year ago. I'm more inclined to think this is just what people wanted.

*sigh*

My favourite was the opera singer from Estonia, but I would've been happy with the Ukrainian vampire, or a multitude of others. I liked the way Italy sounded, even though the subtitles they put up were in Italian, so I didn't have a clue what they saying. Apparently the song was about Islamic terrorism in Europe, so the emotion in their voices probably struck a chord with a lot of European viewers.

Maybe it's coming of a farm, but 5am doesn't seem ridiculously early to me. Except maybe on a cold Sunday morning.

suze2000 said...

No, the Portuguese twat said these things after seeing it in the 1st Semi Final. There weren't people fuming for a whole year waiting to get their revenge. ;)

Alex said...

That makes more sense.

What did he say, exactly?