I was with a bloke for five minutes and then he broke up with me.*
It's quarter past two on a Friday night …
… I'm sprawled on top of my bed—fast asleep—as any decent person over the age of 25 should be. Suddenly, I'm jolted awake by the sound of somebody trying to turn my front door knob. I leap off the bed as a key enters the lock. It rattles, but doesn't turn. I'm just getting to the door when the knocking starts …
***BANG***BANG***BANG***
Silence
***BANG***BANG***BANG***
Suddenly I'm awake and conscious of the fact that all I've got on is a pair of shorts. I fumble around on the bench and find a screwdriver.
***BANG***
***BANG***
Mercifully, he didn't apologise and try to woo me back … soooo, the end?
But I'm really glad your door lock is solid Alex. More likely if he had got in, he would have realised his mistake and just run off, but you never know...
It'd be interesting to see how it played out with this guy in the morning:
*phone rings* (It's Nat) "Where the fuck are ya, wanker?" *dazed* "What?" "You didn't come home last night" "Yes I did, you had that fucker Dan with you" "No I fuckin' well did not, and you weren't there either! Were you with that bitch Raelene*? I'll fuckin' kill that cunt bitch" "I was NOT with Raelene. I slept in the car because you changed the locks" "I did not" "Yes you did, and you wouldn't let me in" "I did NOT CHANGE THE LOCKS" "Well who the fuck's house was I at then... ohhhhh... THAT'S why she wouldn't let me in" *penny drops* And the guy knows he can't even apologise to you because he was too drunk to know what house he was at. AND he still has to make it up to his woman, who thinks he was with the completely fictitious Raelene.
"What the fucken fuck" indeed Melbs. I'm not sure of the exact date this happened, but I do remember it being a Friday.
On night attire: When I have visitors, I wear a t-shirt & shorts to bed; and then sometimes when they leave I continue doing so, out of habit I guess. I think part of me feels like it's a good idea, too—like, in case there's a fire and I have to leg it or something. But then I end up getting hot and stripping during the night. I suppose I was lucky(?) I still had something on that night.
And speaking of visitors, I wonder how things would have gone if Muddy had been here at the time.
Suze, I ran through that scenario in my mind, and the schadenfreude made me calm down and feel better about the situation.
3 comments :
Oh my god, my title suggestion is 'What the fucken fuck?'
And why do you wear that to bed? It's hot, yes? But why not nude or with just undies?
AND when did this happen? JESUS.
Fucking drunk arseholes.
But I'm really glad your door lock is solid Alex. More likely if he had got in, he would have realised his mistake and just run off, but you never know...
It'd be interesting to see how it played out with this guy in the morning:
*phone rings* (It's Nat) "Where the fuck are ya, wanker?"
*dazed* "What?"
"You didn't come home last night"
"Yes I did, you had that fucker Dan with you"
"No I fuckin' well did not, and you weren't there either! Were you with that bitch Raelene*? I'll fuckin' kill that cunt bitch"
"I was NOT with Raelene. I slept in the car because you changed the locks"
"I did not"
"Yes you did, and you wouldn't let me in"
"I did NOT CHANGE THE LOCKS"
"Well who the fuck's house was I at then... ohhhhh... THAT'S why she wouldn't let me in" *penny drops* And the guy knows he can't even apologise to you because he was too drunk to know what house he was at. AND he still has to make it up to his woman, who thinks he was with the completely fictitious Raelene.
"What the fucken fuck" indeed Melbs. I'm not sure of the exact date this happened, but I do remember it being a Friday.
On night attire: When I have visitors, I wear a t-shirt & shorts to bed; and then sometimes when they leave I continue doing so, out of habit I guess. I think part of me feels like it's a good idea, too—like, in case there's a fire and I have to leg it or something. But then I end up getting hot and stripping during the night. I suppose I was lucky(?) I still had something on that night.
And speaking of visitors, I wonder how things would have gone if Muddy had been here at the time.
Suze, I ran through that scenario in my mind, and the schadenfreude made me calm down and feel better about the situation.
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